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San Francisco, California, United States
My ability to notice things and connect my experiences in a meaningful way ensures that there is never a dull moment. At 24 years old, I am only now beginning to feel comfortable being myself. The nature of this blog is to document my Process and its contents are my unabashed ideas.
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Candid review of Zardoz

After trying for an hour to post this supposedly candid and low maintenance review, Netflix would not let me post it. Because I picked the "Love It" star, I'm sharing it the review and screen caps here:


I didn't expect much but considering its low budget (some people describe this as "cheesy") the culture of film at the time (1970's/controversial/nudity) and considering the fact that I had just watched a PBS special on the "Dark Ages", I immensely enjoyed this film, chosen on a whim.


This movie strikes me as a cross between A Clockwork Orange, The Labyrinth and some sort of Twilight Zone episode. The characters/writing (Renegades and Apathetics), music, editing and directing are excellent (The whole film is a Wizard of Oz reference), There are several subtle twists, psychological thrills and unintentional (?) laughs. This director really tries your patience with some longer sequences of shots (i.e. the scene exchanging knowledge through "osmosis and touch") but the images
are inventive and the rhythm of editing keeps us Generation X, Y and Zeds interested.



Yes, there are controversial subjects like rape and death, but they are not sensationalized-in the context of the writing it's pretty appropriate. There are also subjects of feminism, the social-emotional and rebellion.


Though I "loved it," there were a couple of parts where I was confused like, if that Alfred guy was really dead or if Zed was just tripping off "knowledge" If you're not uptight (meaning getting past the dated exterior), looking for something you don't see everyday (visual and auditory), try something new.
Haha. Revenge to the Children's Books section!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

"The Numbers Don't Lie"

Wow, just read my old entries in "here". Was moved by the entry on October 24, 2006-"the sun feels like the pearly gates of heaven on my face" or some shit (whoops trying to balance my irreverence). Ahem...

In a numinous state, the older I get, the more patterns appear to me.

In Child Development theory, a child 0-5 is engaged in pre-math when they are able to recognize patterns-whether they be, shapes, colors, rhythms, etc. In all the different K-6 schools I attended growing up around Oahu, I received check minuses, S minuses and straight up, minuses in mathematics. I definitely noticed that pattern early on! My inadequacies in fundamental math caught up to me at San Francisco State University (SFSU), so I decided to take a break from school to work as a live-in caregiver at a home for adults with developmental disabilities until I left in pursuit of an uber-brain quenching. Had I not left SFSU, I may have never affirmed my passion for television and film, critical thinking, experiential learning, post-colonial anthropology, grassroots post-modernism, learned more about myself through using my body (creatively & fitness-wise) and most importantly my fucking dedication to the Early Childhood Education field and its expansion, neurobiology, understanding children through neurobiology and essentially understanding myself for the first time in my then 21 years.

Back to my initial sentiment, I love math, with its patterns, variables, what if's, symmetry, exponents/fractals, etc. Technically, I still operate at a pre-algebraic level (A in high school Geometry) but I feel confident that one day I will find a nurturing and creative teacher or approach that can help me to understand these abstract numerals and signs, especially through nature and day-to-day relationships. & after I am competent in that area, I look forward to creating a developmentally appropriate and comprehensive mathematical Early Childhood Education curriculum using symmetry in nature and the social-emotional experience to connect to the abstractions of math. I mean, really, do K-College teachers have to conduct the process of learning in the most sensory-deprived and compartmentalized environments devoid of any concrete experiences and relationships?

(Jump cut)

To address my title, no, it's not original. A teacher once told me that I should avoid using cliches. Ha ha. Because we are in these post-modern times, I re-appropriated the cynical connotation of cliches! They remind us of "something familiar" and this feeling of familiarity-really just a neuro-axon super myelinated through repetition-is rooted in the social-emotional realm. Something familiar feels good-less energy expended on an already established path ways-therefore, cliches=less energy=good! Since cliches capture so much in so little, they are also the quickest and most convenient way to get to one's feelings. This is valuable knowledge to people in advertising who understand this psychology. Cutting-edge neuroscience uncovers human's emotional rudders that subconsciously guide ALL of our decisions. This is also valuable knowledge for teachers who can increase learning effectiveness by following the child's interest-what the child wants (and is ready) to learn. I wonder who else this knowledge would be valuable to?...Cliches are also a reminder that the literal words are meaningless and its the comprehension of ideas behind the abstract units of shapes, rhythms, phonemes, etc. that give life to the written and spoken word. That was directed towards you, sassy grammarwhores. On the flip-side, anti-cliches! The first one that came to mind was the album title Punk in Drublic. What fun!

On a more day-to-day frame, one of my past-times is educating myself through Wikipedia. Yes, I understand the nature of Wikipedia, but I mean I look up stuff like cliche, Mali, the etymology of dildo. I doubt someone is going to go out of their way to give biased facts on those subjects. It's a trip to me! Try pronouncing synecdoche. It's a fun word! I saw a link to reification and gasped when I saw the word fallacy in parenthesis. I want to take another English Class or self-teach/start a zine collab?? I'm glad I have the ideas behind the words, but what good are the ideas if I can't communicate them to anyone, let alone in a self-expressive kinda way. I really need to work on refining my interpretations and strengthening my transitions in between my ideas, especially because many of my ideas are interdisciplinary...Uggghh, takes so long though and there are no designated margins to write in.

Ever since I have somewhat settled and live in a more routine and predictable way, I can recognize the patterns around me, which is crucial to mental and spiritual health.


Anyway, I retire, velvet robe and scotch in hand.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Today, a man and PILLOW get married. Also today, same-sex partners are still denied marriages.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

...One of them garbage people...

I remained thoughtful of the hardworking mechanics about to invest their time in maintaining my vehicle by looking around my car for trash. "They deserve better," I thought as I reached for an old McDonald's bag in the backseat and its counterpart orange juice beverage leaking in the cupholder. Cup in the bag, (half-empty or half full?) I reached for the driver's side door compartment where I had been saving used tissues in case of, literally, a spitting emergency. Filled to the brim with soiled Kleenex, balled up McDonalds' wrappers, half full, 3 day old orange juice and refuse fit for the King of Smokey Mountain/Tondo, I scanned my perimeter for the nearest trash receptacle. Maybe a steel one would be appropriate for garbage in this state? These isotopes are a-decaying and not a single Rubbermaid in sight!

Feeling my panic, mystery mechanic reached his hand out like the God that is painted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Humbly I called out, "Please do not worry, 2nd Christ, this time I will pay for my sins," but from my mortal coil, it sounded more like, "Uhmm, no it's okay, i'll find a trash can." My brother insisted that he carry the remains of my support of globalization/high caloric burden (choose one depending on your politics) and in stoic silence, he grasped the mouth of this fast food carcass. As the weight shifted from my proprioceptive system to his, I could feel IT, like a tracker with their ear to the ground, I knew what was about to happen, but only by seconds. As if lead bullets were thrown onto a scale of circumstances, the bottom of the bag split open like Athena from Zeus' skull, pouring tepid and sticky orange juice like it was Niagra Falls and haling units of stiff tissues like a December day in San Francisco. I watched like an OBE, Out-of-Body-Experience, the contents of this makeshift trash bin out of a friendly McDonald's bag gremlin that pops out those pustuled and vicious gremlins when it gets wet, they exploded all over the mechanic's Reeboks (Were they Reeboks or were they Filas? Who wears Filas nowadays though?...) That moment was proof that slow-motion existed outside of Sports recaps (Do they still do those slow-motion recaps?) and in that moment from trash diarrhea to man's porous shoes, I didn't realize that such a small cup could contain so much liquid. Had I even sipped on that orange juice or did some Catholic demon switch out my small McDonald's drink for a container of Super Gulp proportions?

Stewing in my shock, my apologies were absent, but before I slipped into a laughing hysteria, (In the discretion of my friend's economy car) I just had one thing to say to this former savior subjected to my human waste, "Ooooh, my bad!" With no reaction to the events, he swept away the previous contents of my unmentionable time capsule like a professional, perhaps like it's happened before, suspicious...I mean really, dude, I just spilled like 8 oz. of bacteria Atlantis all over your kicks and not even an eyebrow raise like you're stoned and you hear something in the distance except it's really nothing because you're just paranoid? Okay, it's whatever, I guess...

So just to recap, you can choose your adventure!:

Long-term thinking/Chaos Theory: I had a cold, but still had to get around, so I brought tissues in the car for excretions of that nature. A week later, I was working and going to class non-stop that day, I was famished and on a budget, so I stopped into a local fast food joint. My poison, being a small orange juice, just wasn't a good fit to that day like I thought it was so I left it in the car. Continuing with my work and being busy for the whole week I suddenly remembered I need to bring my car to the service place in my neighborhood for repair. Trying to make things more comfortable for the mechanic helping me, I collected visible trash before I left my vehicle with him and in went the orange juice and tissues. As I was handing my trash to him because I did not see a trash receptacle, the bottom of the bag became soggy and all the trash fell through and the entire orange juice splashed all onto his shoes.

or Short-term thinking/Reductionism: Got to the car repair place, didn't want to look like a slob so wanted to throw away Mcdonald's crap. Put in orange juice that I didn't drink, but the top of orange juice unloosened, thereby soaking the bottom of the McDonald's bag that was containing trash, like crispy tissues from when I was sick. When I was handing the trash to him after not seeing a trash can, the weight shifted and the orange juice spilled all over his shoe for literally 60 seconds. I said, "Oooh, my bad!" and then jumped into my friend's car while laughing and processing what just happened.

The lesson that I took away from this was to never, ever brandish your empty, or not so empty, McDonalds' trash to anyone, maybe not even your inner circle.

--True story from San Francisco, Spring 2009

Who knew the sound of the quick expansion of air could be so awesome?

It's 2010 & i've started my new year on the island of the gods, Bali. Today's the third day of our 8 day long trip & i've already run out of room on my 4 GB memory card for my camera. Of course 4 GB is laughable for 2010. I forgot that we were in the future now.

Here is a copy & paste of words to a couple of songs I did in December 2009--->

Epic of the Universe:

I don't stop like the ice cream truck
I don't ring no alarm you're out of luck
Headquarters in my room, on a Sunday afternoon
Setting sun, now I'm done, mind & body on the run

Don't get all whack, i'll scratch your back, i'm right on track hangin up another plaque
With the dope subjects ziplining through my brain, multi-tasking watching serial
experiments lane.
While some may struggle just to find a single interest, i'm grateful to be me,
synchronistically
Going through the motions as your day to day alias
Creatures of the night dancing, raising that Celsius
challenging to find the balance in ya body, spending time with yo love shift from nice
to naughty
Gotta smile when you're standing in the rain, the feeling is novel, the effect is colossal
When youre counting dollar signs, are you aware of the times
when you don't get what you need, it's your ego that you feed
It's not the end, although you're human, it might be fun to live like Truman


This is a good beat got it on repeat
rhthymically speaking ideas are peaking
Accepting yourself for who you are can be stressful
Seeking insight from the archetypal
Have to switch my gear, got my precious in the rear, wanna be a better version
by the end of this year
Transitions can be jarring, by the end of the day, to each his own
always starts in the home.

--------

Eccentric Billionaire:

Sometimes they're living in hobocamps, you take one home for soup, out comes a checkbook from their pants
They say, "I'm gonna make your dreams come true, by your good nature, rewarding you,"
The pipe dreams burst, out spewed scenes of luxury class esteem
How can joy replace showers? Meals of lemon sours, prepared on a family estate
I say, "When you're roaming the street, marching to your own beat, always keep a copy of your receipt."

Eccentric billionaire

Sir Richard B successfully sells trips to outer space
Bill Gates the third, sleeps earth sheltered, in Xanadu homebase
Scrooge McD, in his vault he'll be with gold coins on his feathers
J. Pomeroy, hope you enjoy your state of the art center.

()+()+()+()+()+()+()+()+()+()+()+()+()+()

Thought i'd include email excepts from Bali to my man lover to document my self-process or whatever:

"Oh man, toilet drama, anyway i don't want to write about that at this moment.

So last night I had one small step towards mankind when I told my mom that i liked that she was trying to help me and all but i don't need her to tell me after every meal that i need to stop eating after five bites and that it was enough. It seemed like she liked hearing that she was helping so she said i know so today she hasn't said a word or been side eyeing me as i eat. It is really challenging vacationing with her. Like she said, since she grew up in the provinces, this isn't really a vacation for her. She was really traumatized by her childhood, so she prefers the monoculture hotel and entertainment bused in from local villages. In fact we're going to move hotels to the part of the island that aims to compete with the other international beach resorts devoid of any of the local culture. It's whatever, cuz it's her money. And as an American, I kind of like air conditioning (sorry ozone layer :() But we've been sorta bonding in our own way. I hate to complain about my mom so much, but i guess it just rubs off on me. And she has her reasons for being high maintanence, I guess she's a sensory avoider.

People keep talking to us in Balinese because they think we're local, especially me ;p I think we walked for a mile today and it wasn't so bad because it was leisurely but at the end my leg and foot did start hurting and i was tired! I would love to come back here to Ubud again, I will go ahead and call it the San Francisco of Bali. Eco cycling, Ganesha bookstore, Vegetarian food, dog advocacy, alternative t-shirt shops, etc....

Ooh, my carnrows are falling out. I think I officially got my money's worth out of this 90 buck hairstyle. I've had them in since December 12? They said it wouldn't last a week HAH. I will make my recessionista hairstyle work for me through vacation to staycation.

I know these emails are long, you don't have to reply in the same length, but as long as you read them and feel my familiar energy, I will be happy! Hope you don't mind my somewhat stream of conscious/bad/lazy grammar thinking/writing, cuz the thought of you inspires me! This kind of reminds me of when I was first trying to get with you and I was living in Michelle's Home still in RWC, and how I missed you but I had never even been with you. The same thing is happening now, the same feeling, except this is better because we're actually together now, It reminds me of my mom's first boyfriend in 8th grade. She and this boy were talking so they became bf gf but they had never even kissed and someone started a rumor that my mom was pregnant, it reached the boy's parents and they took it out on him pretty bad, and that's when my mom ran away from home. Anyway, different circumstances but I remember my mom saying, "We had never even kissed, and I was supposedly pregnant" I don't remember verbatim what she said, but there's a connection there. I dunno sort that out, mercurial mind...

The first night I was here I thought I kept hearing the Bop it toy, ya know after The Simpsons episode, so it was definitely wishful thinking that in the middle of these rice paddies in Ubud, Bali there was some kid (can't be an adult) with a Bop it Toy, but the toy only played the Bop It sound and not the other ones. So today my mom asks me if I hear the Tucco lizard. Tucco being the sound the lizard makes, which is the name it is known by in the Philippines. So imagine the Bop It syllabic stresses, tone and high volume except with the enunciation of "Tuc Co" and it sounds like a toucan-parrot but it's a freaking lizard...I have yet to see this lizard, it's not the gecko which makes a tsk tsk tsk tsk noise which is almost as loud as the tucco lizard. Anyway, it's really loud and alive with frogs, lizards, birds (in the morning), crickets."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Due to the nature of my 2010, I will be returning here more frequently. Just FYI...Cheers!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

affirmative pearl diving

Dearest Soloterre,

Here's that list i forwarded to you from all my relations:

You can start your story anywhere.

English is my 3rd language. Like every other person, my 1st language is body/movement and my 2nd language is tactile.

Get creative, there are infinite opportunities beyond the typical realms.

Balance is the first gate before one's path with heart.

Play is work-MOVE.

Visualize-Focus!

Organization is a stepping stone to leadership. Get it?

Everyone loses when people only know what they can't do but everyone wins when they know what they can do.

Your self is your greatest and most likely your only teacher. The ones that have claimed to have taught you have only exposed you to experiences and facilitated your environment. You give your learning meaning which adds to the continual support for past, present and future learning/meaning.

Identify needs and push appropriately.

Follow interests and when one is not as interested in an idea as much as before, one is ready to move on to another degree.

Finishing/death is part of the cycle, too many beginnings leaves too many cords entangled with heavy tension-embrace it, even tension creates a sustainable and infinte braid of cords, there's the idea of putting things back in their place.

Flirting between silliness and seriousness is "your thing"-sell it!

It is okay to experiment, it is okay to not be "perfect," it important to keep trying and to ignore previous stressful social ideas of judgement. It is okay to care that "people" think you are being yourself.

What does it mean for one who edits their words? And what does it mean for the ideas behind the words?

You can start your story anywhere.

Sell it!

Take note...

Smiling is Thoughtful,
Solitaire

P.S.

If all else fails:

10 Hail Mary's, 5 Our Father's

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Product of Childhood

BIS Spring 2008
Cohort U
The Product of Childhood

“During the first three years of life, the human brain develops to 90 percent of adult size,” (Perry 2). Our brain is still one of the great mysteries, even though we all have one and it is inside our body. It is the organ that is enabling me to recall abstract meanings, letter recognition, typing drills and present them in an organized way, it is also the organ you are using to read and assimilate this into your experience, though both are uniquely varied. How one evolved to this point and when one’s mind was created is not an idea usually examined. It is uncommon, and perhaps obscure, to view the self from a biological standpoint where one part of our personality was destined while the other is fate. We apparently possess free will to make our choices and determine who we think we are. When we were not aware of free-will as an expression of ourself, what was our self? From schematas to the id, there are many theories as to how the self develops in an adult’s early childhood. Puckett and Black exclaim that “we all benefit from knowledge of child growth and development. Such knowledge enhances self-understanding and acceptance and informs relationships with others” (3). Being in the field of early childhood development, I am eager to explore how the journey of one’s critical years as well as the roles of economics and neurobiology affect one’s perception of themselves and how it functions in developing one‘s self.
Ultimately, the human is produced, common to planet earth in a solar system among many in the Milky Way galaxy amid scores of galaxies existing in the unfolding, infinite universe. All humans struggle to distinguish their self. Puckett and Black find that “at birth, the brain stem and the midbrain are the most highly developed. These areas of the brain control consciousness, inborn reflexes, digestion, respiration, and elimination,” (137). Despite the range of cultures within the microcosm adults are born into, all individuals begin their lives in predictable ways. One is born with a consciousness which may be the motivation to develop one’s self. Growing up, I was able to shift my consciouness in mundane settings such as elementary school. As the teacher was talking, I would close my eyes and then open them and all of a sudden I felt no sense of self. I could not distinguish my sensation and asked myself ’what am I seeing?’. It seemed like I had no recollection of what people were and where I was, similar to someone who went through a stroke. In terms of brain development, it is assumed that a child is a blank slate and does not have a self apart from the genes one has inherited. The brain, therefore, the mind, has yet to develop. The process of early childhood development shapes the perception of where the self begins and where it ends. Is the self that is being developed in infancy the same as the self an adult identifies with? Ultimately, they are one in the same despite an adult‘s rejection and designating the child self as inferior. “The human brain mediates our movements, our senses, our thinking, feeling and behaving. The amazing, complex neural systems in our brain, which determine who we become, are shaped early,” (Perry 2004). Every adult’s childhood is the foundation upon how one bases their world. It is clear that an individual‘s childhood directly correlates to the framework of how one organizes every day life. There are many parallels between the way an infant and adult sees themself. A child puts to use gathered experiences and information and produces their identity as favorite color, animal, neighborhood in which they live in, their age, superhero, and so forth. While an adult displays their identity through their job, family status, economical status, ethnic heritage, and more concrete experiences that have less to do with the imagination as an identifier of self. Though both agendas share similar concepts, but generally different, both are defined by how they meet challenges and their responsiveness towards the subject. The is self defined by how they organize their world or by what is within that world.
In most recent times, it has been debatable between the different philosophies of child development, nature is put against nurture to see who in fact is more momentous. According to neurobiology, both work together. “Temperament is an individual’s biologically based behavior style, which helps us to describe an individual’s responses (Chess, 1967; Thomas & Chess, 1977; Thomas, Chess, & Birch 1968). Puckett and Black state that “Chess and Thomas (1987) identified several dimensions of temperament, including activity level, rhythms, approach and withdrawl behaviors, adaptability, responsiveness, intensity of reaction, quality of mood, distractibility, attention span, and persistence,” (131). Because of the certain dimensions that differs between individuals, one already has a hard-wired angle of the way one approaches the world. In my experience, I have seen how a child with their individual temperament sees the world. Just by observing how one child sprinkles glitter with caution and precision using just enough to cover a thin layer of glue, yet another child of the same developmental age dumps half a cup of glue then proceeds to intensely shake out the entire contents of the glitter jar speaks volumes of how a child sees their self. Temperament plays a large role in personality. Behavior, observable with interpretation depending on the person who is perceiving it, is the way we appropriately or inappropriately meet our sensations, as well as the context of how one will treat you. During one-on-one sessions with a child, I noticed he was not interested in any activity that had to do with cutting, pasting, or drawing, which are the fine motor skills. He did however love to work with water, pile big bean bags on each other, help the teachers push and pull large objects and use his hands to shake water bottles to create a vortex in between, which engages the large motor skills. It is up to the professional to provide understanding and acceptance for where that child is developmentally. For some individuals, their behavior can be affected by the way they are treated. We are approached based on our behavior. In addition to the environment, a child responds to people and situations based on how they receive information through their central nervous system. It is an uncommon practice, especially in the United States, to consider one’s individual biology as a way to interpret one’s self or a way to consciously view the world. There seems to be a distinct rift between the self that began in the womb then took several years to develop, and the self that an adult identifies with based on gender, economics, and social skills. Our mind is a dimension of our physical brain and where our mind began is not a substantial connection within the dominant ideas. Sensory experiences are critical to developing the brain. Understanding the way one uses their senses to experience offers a window into their world, their perspective. The temperament which is observable through the sensory system influences one’s perspective. Also, it is common for individuals to have “sensory systems where one is hyper, allowing too much sensory input to the brain, hypo, allowing too little sensations for enter the brain, white noise, inefficient that its own operation creates an interference or “static” which is perceived by the brain as if it really existed, and tactility, feelings of temperature, pain, pressure and proprioception or feeling input from the muscles,” (Gold 277). With that information, one can deduce that certain sensory systems affect the environments and people one chooses to subject themselves too. This can account for children who are notorious for their ‘bad behavior’. This is the child who may be yelling and no one understands that the fancy fragrance the adult is wearing is overloading the child’s sensory system. If one has knowledge of how their sensory systems function, one can integrate it into their daily lives and better understand their perspective and the origin beneath the behavior.
After we are born, we begin by developing physically and understanding how our individual body works, where we end and our “not-self” begins. In early childhood, it is an overwhelming, yet understated process of differentiating ourself from our not-self. Puckett and Black state that “self-awareness occurs as infants begin to realize that they are distinct and separate from others and that an object is not an extension of themselves,” (271). In order to promote this brain development, the individual must have experiences, and in infancy, one cannot do it alone. The positive guidance of an adult serves as the catalyst for an infant’s self. These experiences are unique to the individual and determines the outcome of how one thinks and acts. During childhood, the brain is strengthening the point of contact between nerve fibers or synapses that are fortified by routine experiences and pruning the extra cells that conveys information or neurons that are not being used. Routine and predictability in early childhood is critical in supporting the parts of the brain that organize senses. Puckett and Black affirm that “Environmental sensory stimuli cause the brain to develop its own unique circuitry and influences which connections will last and which will atrophy or be pruned away for lack of use, and, in some instances, which connections will be rerouted in response to injury, insult, or neglect,” (172). If a child does not receive the experience of a relationship with routine, their foundation upon which they build their self will not be as substantial. Alongside temperament, it is up to the adult to understand the development of a child in relation to individual traits and provide the guidance and environment that will meet the needs of the child in a positive and creative way. When adults do not value a child‘s unique qualities, it affects what an individual values and gravitates toward. Although certain individuals may appear to have a more challenging neurobiology it affects how one functions within their respective culture. If a child who needs sensory stimulation more than the ‘average’ child does not receive it because their culture requires them to be silent and sit in a chair for long periods of time, this create negative consequences. I believe one chooses to behave as if they have a different sensory system because of what behavior their culture prefers. It affects the way they portray themselves and what they think their self deserves. Experiences vary for each individual depending on temperament and their sensory system. If the child grows up with an understanding of their individual needs, the adult self will learn how to avoid situations like shopping in a crowded place if it overloads their sensory system.
In addition to the inner influences of temperament and developmental age, there are external influences in a significant amount of childrens’ day to day life which remains to be an overlooked factor of adults’ day to day life. Puckett and Black have learned that “poverty has both immediate and long-term effects on child growth, development, and learning,” (143). As if developing one‘s self in infancy was not challenging enough, other opposing forces significantly affect one‘s growth of their self. If factors such as home life, community, quality child care, and positive, consistent adult nurturing are absent, the brain will not be optimally developed. “Studies of infants and young children who have not received healthy, consistent, predictable, repetitive sensory experiences during this critical period of growth and development have shown that they have significantly smaller brains and abnormal brain development (Perry, 1998). If their brain is not being appropriately developed, how can they begin to develop their self? On the extreme side, subjects such as those explain how an individual‘s perception becomes distorted by negative factors. If an infant‘s mind is not being guided and challenged appropriately, it will definitely affect one‘s development of self. Puckett and Black maintain that “families whose energies are taxed by overwhelming economic issues may have little to share with children for nurturing, playful interactions, and enriching learning opportunities,” (143). An individual who grows up in loud and abusive environment may not be receiving the responsive care they need or even the essential REM sleep that develops the central nervous system. If one‘s needs are not being met, one will experience stress which affects one behavior and cognitive abilities. The community plays a major role and if the child is not valued, there may be no appropriate place for a child to play and exercise the motor skills vital to development and other brain activities. “Sense of future is foreshortened. The critical time period for the individual shrinks. The threatened child is not thinking (nor should she think) about months from now,” (Perry 1997). When an individual is stressed out and a future is not in the picture, this must be a factor in the way an adult behaves and sees the world. Certain negative attributes are established and the potential self remains with the infant while the adult self accepts the “truth” and continues to be distorted.
It is important to consider the state of mind an individual is in as it affects the choices they make and the way they interpret the world. “When children experience repetitive activation of the stress response systems, their baseline state of arousal is altered. The result is that even when there is no external threat or demand, they are physiologically in a state of alarm, of fight or flight,” (Perry 2004). On the news there are many cases every hour of adults acting irrationally with no sense of self or empathy. Though many “experts“ speculate as to how the crimes are committed, how this individual is an “evil” person, those events that define the person, and that self of a person is frozen in time. He was never an infant developing his self with understanding and acceptance to guide him. Puckett and Black understand that “Neuroscientists now caution that stressful or traumatic experiences in infancy and early childhood, when prolonged and uninterrupted by successful intervention strategies, can undermind neurological development and impair brain function,” (174). If one has a distorted perspective of one’s self and their world, where and what is the truth? “Children in a state of fear retrieve information from the world differently than children who feel calm,” (Perry 2004). Whether a child is in extreme conditions or experiencing stress from another source, these factors affect the perception of their world and ultimately their decisions and values.
In order for the child to experience meaningful learning, they must do so through a secure and positive relationship with an adult. The infant develops their self under the guidance of an adult. If this adult is understanding of brain development and an individual‘s temperament, the infant is able to discover their individuality and independence. Chess and Thomas acknowledge that “studies of attachment highlight the critical need to form these attachments during the early months and years and suggest that failure to do so may have a lifelong effect on healthy social and emotional development,” (Ainsworth, 1973; Bowlby, 1973; Brotherhood & Walters, 1985; Zeanah, Mammen, & Lieberman, 1993). Should there be dissonance between the capacities and characteristics of the organism on the one hand and the environment opportunities and demands on the other hand, there is poorness of fit, which leads to maladaptive functioning and distorted development,” (1987). If the adult is ignorant of child development or the temperaments between caregiver and child are not a good fit, there is a chance that the infant‘s true self will not unearth itself. The infant may have a personality or a behavior imposed on them that goes against their developmental expectations and individual temperament. Again, what is the truth? Is the key in an individual‘s mind? Puckett and Black find that “while it may be necessary to say “no” and “don’t touch” often, overuse of such restrictions can cause infants to associate negative and disapproving responses with the people who mean the most to them. Attempts to explore and investigate and to try out emerging skills are thus hindered, as is the confidence and independence that new skills bring,” (140). When infants are not allowed to grow, it reduces their opportunities for knowledge, sense of autonomy, how they distinguish what they like and what they do not like. An adult can interfere with the child trying to meet their own needs according to their central nervous system because a behavior is unfavorable. Only through these relationships with complex emotions can the brain and the individual’s sense of self develop. Under that pretense, an individual begins to organize their world according to their senses and the guidance from the caregiver. Puckett and Black affirm that “these earliest interpersonal relationships shape the neurological structures that establish mental representations or experience in the child’s mind. Hence, patterns of relationships and emotional communication, particularly the character or early attachment relationships, influence the brain’s biochemistry and subsequent wiring, thus laying down neurological patterns through which the child mentally constructs a view of the world,” (202). Some individuals may have grown up with an underdeveloped sense of self only because the caregiver did not understand child development and the individual. Depending on the person‘s temperament, this confusion may intensely affect them with a diminished sense of acceptance. This may influence how one accepts themselves, others, and the world.
The process of how one develops there is self equally as important as the product of the self, but they work together. Puckett and Black find that “self-concept development is a gradual process, which continues throughout childhood and is subject to positive and negative changes as experiences and relationships expand,” (230). Depending on what stage in early childhood, a child finds creative ways to express, develop extensions of themselves, and further themselves with knowledge. It is amazing to witness infants as they possess an innate sense of their self and how to fullfill their sensory needs that they need in order to grow. “Self-definition emerges as children begin to use language to describe themselves. The toddler’s growing awareness of his or her age, size, gender, and skills assists the child in this definition. Around age 3, children begin to mentally construct an “autobiographical” memory that facilitates a continuous identity carried throughout life,” (Nelson 1993). The real journey begins for the child when one has developed skill over their body and can manipulate their surroundings. They begin to correlate the building of experiences to the developing of the self. Personality traits such as “empathy , caring, sharing, inhibition of aggression, capacity to love, and a host of other characteristics of a healthy, happy, and productive person are related to the core attachment capabilities which are formed in infancy and early childhood,” (Perry 1) do not seem to be identified in one‘s self.
All the sources I have used are part of the philosophy of child development that is supported by decades of research done by occupational therapists, neurobiologists, neuroanatomists, developmental psychologists, community figures, educators, nurses, and doctors. This philosophy is comprehensive and understands how to meet the needs of children rather than labeling and not understanding the root of the problem. It sees an invisible world, works on the long-term effects rather than short-term, and its only products are positive. Puckett and Black stem from a large body of assessments and research done within the school system and home life and have also integrated research from other experts within the field. Dr. Bruce Perry is a leading neurobiologist who used to be a psychologist but eagerly switched fields as there were substantial results with children under the neurobiology/developmentally appropriate model. He understood that children in early childhood should be evaluated by their individual central nervous system because that is how they approach the new world and experiences around them and in what order the brain along with the skills to use their body develops. While Perry was a psychologist interning at a mental institution for young boys, his superiors did not understand why one boy did not want to eat hot dogs and Popsicles and reprimanded him when he fell apart and exhibited bad behavior. When Perry discovered this young boy had been molested by a man and forced to perform oral sex acts, he recognized that at that young age, the developing body did not want to revisit those disturbing positions, and Perry’s solution was to cut up any food that was the negatively familiar shape. Perry has been working with traumatized children for decades and he is responsible for a large body of the affect of stress on the brain. This is a new practice and though he has done much research of the response of stress in the body, it is receiving mixed reviews. But professionals in this field who have actual experience with children firmly support Perry. This philosophy is a lens in which a professional does not view a child as good or bad, smart or stupid, instead, positive and negative, easy, challenging, intense. It is based on experience, not theory. There are no gray areas and misunderstandings, and harsh discipline is substituted for firm but kind guidance. This philosophy has also offered guidance for myself as an (almost) adult and is not limited to the ‘child’ self. The Child development-neurobiology model reinstates the respect and integrity children seem to not be credited today.
“Human beings become a reflection of the world in which they develop. If that world is safe, predictable, and characterized by relationally and cognitively enriched opportunities, the child can grow to be self-regulating, thoughtful, and a productive member of family, community, and society. In contrast, if the developing child’s world is chaotic, threatening, and devoid of kind words and supportive relationships, a child may become impulsive, aggressive, inattentive, and have difficulties with relationships,” (Perry 2004). Are behaviors such as greed, violence, selfishness human or industrial? Are we really born with the capacity to commit twisted crimes of waste, murder and genocide or were there some misconnections in the brain during childhood? There are states of the mind that are affected by how one develops in their childhood, part nature, part nurture. Self can be defined by what you do and not by words that live a life independent of your mind. The self is developed in infancy, influenced by inherent qualities, and promoted or neglected depending on the relationships and environments. There are many variables in how the self develops. There are even more complexities on how the self is defined. Nothing about the self is absolute except for the desire to learn and to keep moving. The self the infant worked to develop and the self that the adult identifies as a result of experiences has yet to meet a balance. As the brain evolves, certain parts of the brain develop, the neo cortex being the recent addition of the brain, is where we can create and problem solve more effectively than most species on the planet. Our current philosophy for children is that they are uncapable of anything unless we do it for them and that we want a specific product from them. We deny children the much needed process of developing what the world means for them.We still have adults incapable of critical thinking, and children who aspire to be “rich and famous”. We fortunately or unfortunately have the desire to develop the sense of self perhaps from our consciousness. Early childhood development is critical to the development of the adult because the brain grows so much in such a short time and we are ultimately our mind. In the modern consumer world, everything is marketed by the fact that we think of ourselves as the number one most important thing. “The family, community, or society that understands and values its children thrives; the society that does not is destined to fail,” (Perry 2004). If we do not want to understand the connection between the foundation of our self that we developed in infancy, than what do we know?









Bibliography:
Gold, Svea J. If Kids Just Came with Instruction Sheets: Creating a World Without Child Abuse. Oregon: Fern Ridge Press, 2005.
Perry, Bruce D.“Maltreatment and the Developing Child: How Early Childhood Experience Shapes Child and Culture.” Child Trauma Academy, Houston. 23 Sept. 2004.
Perry, Bruce D. Incubated in Terror: Neurodevelopmental Factors in the ‘Cycle of Violence’ In: Children, Youth and Violence: The Search for Solutions. Ed. J.D. Osofsky Guilford Press: New York, 1997.
Puckett, Margaret B. and Black, Janet K. The Young Child: Development from Prebirth Through Age Eight. 4th ed. New Jersey: Pearson Prentice Hall, 2005.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Solitaire-The Notwist

Essentially, humans need guidance.

What I have found with Jehovah's god is that we are given many rules, things to hate, what is "dirty", the misuse of blood, things that will be approved of, etc. However, it advocates that your thoughts are heard by the universe at any given moment. Even though it clearly states that pagan rituals are satanic, paganism distinctly lives through acts such as saying "amen" at the end of your prayer or meditation, a symbol which seals intention. Is that so bad?

Because I am in the field of child development, not psychology, we approach individuals in early childhood open-endedly. Though discipline is not developmentally appropriate for children, developmentalists fiercely abide by firm, but kind guidance, pre-emptively and creatively providing the environment which decreases opportunities for "BAD BEHAVIOR". Of course this is for those with a predetermined temperament and no sensory disorders. Time spent working with children is rich with intention and the responsiveness needed to develop the central nervous system up to the highest part of your brain, the neo cortex, of an individual.

Some people find their guidance through religion or ritual. If you are fortunate, you can find it within yourself. If you are blessed, you will find hope, too.