The sun feels like the pearly gates of heaven on my face

Last night, three consecutive vivid dreams. They still linger in my subconcious, even in my fingertips. "Reality is no more than a dream." I live in my own world and the difference between now and then is that I am no longer ashamed of it. To be quite honest, I do feel the scrutiny of someone's eyes, the weight of judgement by a world that is not mine. The problem I have with abandonment is that it's not that they're virtually and physically abandoning me, it's that they abandon the idea and the thought and the memory of me. I am not a person. I am a collections of memories and personalities from every place and person i've ever met. When people forget me, I die inside. I remember THEM everyday, all of them. What's left of "me" is really just them, because I am not me. The only thing that I can truly distinguish as myself, are my dreams, and they're barely "real"(?)